The Telling Time : A Historical Family Saga Read online

  I hovered close to the stove, ensuring the water for the njoki remained at a simmer. Mama wiped the bench for what must have been the tenth time. Mare stood close by, assembling the salad and plugging the awkward silences with conversation.

  ‘Is it nearly time to eat?’ Tata called. ‘We’re close to starving in here.’

  ‘Keep your voice down,’ Mama called back. ‘You won’t die waiting a few more minutes.’ She raised her eyebrows as though exasperated. ‘Jela, perhaps go knock on Ivan’s door. Tell him we’re ready.’

  I tiptoed up the stairs. It seemed rude rushing him, and I welcomed the chance to duck into my room and brush my hair one more time. I smiled at my reflection: my cheeks held a rosy glow even without cosmetics. Out on the small landing, I raised my hand to knock on what had been Josip’s door. It was the exact moment Ivan chose to stride out and I shrieked and jumped back.

  ‘Beware of charging cannon-girls,’ he said, backing up against the door and laughing. ‘We’ll have to get better synchronised. Don’t want any injuries.’

  I couldn’t look as I squeezed past him. My shoulder brushed against his chest. ‘I’m sorry,’ I spluttered, before racing down the stairs, summoning my willpower to prevent collapsing into a fit of giggles. The tight spaces in our house were impossible. It had been the same when Mare first moved in — always colliding on the landing, or having to squeeze past each other on the stairwell — but that was far less embarrassing than bumping into a man I hardly knew. A Party official, no less.

  Back in the kitchen, I popped my head around the corner, raising my finger to my lips to shush Tata. He muttered something under his breath and took another sip of wine. I turned back and Ivan was filling the gap in the doorway, beaming. Out of uniform he was even more handsome. He’d changed into a white open-necked shirt and dark trousers, and a scruff of hair escaped over the top button of his shirt. I felt daring even noticing this, a detail that seemed far too intimate. His hair was still wet from his bath and slicked back, darker now, enhancing his eyes. I was embarrassed that Tata and Josip hadn’t made more of an effort.

  Mama stepped forward and took Ivan’s arm. ‘Come and meet Mare, Josip’s new wife.’

  ‘It’s my pleasure,’ he said, crossing to Mare and taking her hand. Both Mama and Mare were like dwarfs alongside him.

  ‘Now, come and join Ante and Josip,’ said Mama, herding Ivan past me and through to the dining area. Tata and Josip both stood and slapped Ivan on the back. Ivan was a good half-head taller than both of them and broader too.

  ‘Sit. Please,’ said Tata. ‘Pošip? It’s been far too long.’ He poured Ivan a glass of our local wine.

  Mama returned to the kitchen and pulled me over to the stove. ‘Make sure you don’t take the njoki out too soon,’ she whispered. ‘Wait until they rise and float.’

  I stared at her. She knew I was perfectly capable of cooking njoki. Mare glanced over from where she was dressing the salad, and raised her eyebrows. Regardless, I didn’t take my eyes off those plump parcels dancing in the water, but I strained to hear what Tata was saying. His voice was unusually low and I prayed he wouldn’t say anything controversial. Mama placed a large dish beside me and watched closely as I layered the njoki into the dish and sprinkled the parcels with olive oil.

  ‘We almost collided on the landing,’ I whispered, my hand at my mouth to contain my laughter.

  Mama suppressed a giggle too, then just as quickly became business-like, clapping her hands. ‘Bring everything through now.’ She picked up the bowl of meat sauce.

  Mare followed with the salad plate layered with tomato and fresh goat cheese and I held the dish of glistening njoki. The three men were clustered around one end of the table. Mare, Mama and I took the other end: Mama at the head, opposite Tata; Mare beside Josip; and me on the seat next to Ivan. I made certain to keep some distance. He seemed so broad and I was conscious of his body heat. It was rare for me to feel small but beside him I felt like a mouse. I was grateful when Tata broke the silence.

  ‘We must thank you for the meat, Ivan. A rare treat for us.’ Tata made a show of refilling the men’s wine glasses.

  ‘My pleasure,’ said Ivan, seeming to straighten a little.

  Mama cleared her throat and bowed her head. ‘We thank you, Lord, for the food we are about to eat. And especially for the meat brought by Ivan. We thank you for the gift of family. Amen.’

  ‘Amen,’ we repeated, making the sign of the cross.

  ‘Oh!’ said Mama, her hand at her mouth. ‘I should have checked, Ivan. Is it acceptable that we say grace? We don’t want to cross the Party.’

  ‘Please,’ he replied. ‘I’m not here to pass judgement. Do as you always do.’

  ‘I hoped we might get a break,’ said Tata, half under his breath.

  Mare looked aghast and I stared at my plate. When I dared glance up, Tata was leaning back in his chair and I was surprised at how relaxed he seemed.

  ‘Please,’ said Mama, pushing the bowl of njoki towards Ivan. ‘Enjoy! We could starve listening to this nonsense. Quick, before it gets cold.’

  Ivan piled food onto his plate, including two large servings of the meat sauce. I glanced towards Tata, whose eyes had widened. Meat was such a luxury, and the rule was always one spoonful. I took a large sip from my water glass, willing him to hold his tongue while racking my brain for something sensible to say. ‘Can you tell us what’s involved in the road project? What you want to achieve?’

  As soon as my words were out I worried that my question was stupid. Perhaps he wasn’t able to talk about official things. His knees brushed against mine as he turned to answer and I shuffled my legs sideways.

  ‘So that cars can drive around the island?’ said Josip, rolling his eyes at me. Mare shot him a wary look and nudged him. It infuriated me that Josip could be so brave with me and yet so timid outside the house. I wished that we could be on the same side for once.

  ‘All in good time,’ said Ivan, seeming to ignore Josip. ‘It’s exciting. This country’s going from strength to strength. Korčula’s roads will be first, and all going well, Hvar will follow. The Party wants roads fit for cars, as well as donkeys and bikes. It’ll take a few months — possibly closer to a year. We’re hoping to provide the local youth with employment and a wealth of experience.’

  ‘My dragi, Branko, might be interested,’ I said.

  ‘You have a dragi?’ Ivan’s voice boomed. ‘He is lucky, no?’

  He sounded surprised and I wondered again how he saw me. I felt as though he was looking right into my soul as his eyes searched my face. My cheeks flared red hot and I looked away, wishing I could strip off my cardigan.

  ‘They’re a couple of lovebirds. So sweet,’ said Mare, smiling across at me.

  Josip took the attention off me by reaching over for another spoonful of the meat sauce. I was relieved, despite knowing it would end badly. Tata didn’t disappoint, batting Josip’s hand away.

  ‘The meal is delicious. You are excellent cooks,’ said Ivan, seeming not to have noticed.

  ‘It’s our pleasure,’ said Mama, brushing her hair back from her face and behind her ear.

  ‘Might sign up, as well,’ said Josip. ‘Could be better than the fishing business.’

  Mare looked aghast and I waited for the explosion.

  ‘You’ll do nothing of the sort!’ said Tata. ‘Krešimira’s where you belong. All this talk of cars — it’s boats that make Korčula tick.’ He twisted his neck to stare at Ivan.

  Mama looked horrified.

  ‘As you say, Ante,’ Ivan replied, his voice measured, ‘fishing will continue as the lifeblood of this island. But don’t close your eyes to modern technology. We must upgrade the roads. Think about transporting food and other products between the towns. How the standard of living will improve for everyone.’

  ‘Only for those who can afford a car, let alone the petrol to run the damn thing.’ Tata took a slug of his wine. ‘Pity our officials don’t ask the people livin
g here.’

  ‘Have some more food, Ivan,’ Mama cut in. ‘It’s there to be eaten.’ She glared down the table at Tata.

  ‘It doesn’t hurt for our Party officials to know what goes on here,’ said Tata, his voice clipped. ‘Away from Party headquarters.’

  It was infuriating that Tata couldn’t see progress when it was right in front of his eyes. He was a pessimist and determined to hold on to the old ways. I thought again about the importance of teachers. How they could help instigate change. Josip was still chewing at his nails and I felt a rush of compassion. It couldn’t be easy having to spend so much time with Tata, and perhaps it was no coincidence he was mentioning the desire for change. Tata stared down at his wine glass, frowning, as though it might hold a secret. Mare was unusually quiet but seemed to be wriggling in her seat. I wished Ivan could see our family as united, not so at odds with each other.

  ‘We’re very proud of where you’ve got to in the Party,’ said Mama, and I could have hugged her. ‘Tell us more about the places you’ve visited.’

  ‘I’ve spent a lot of time in Zagreb,’ said Ivan. ‘And I loved my time on the islands to the north of there. Dubrovnik is my absolute favourite, though.’

  I was impressed at the way these places rolled off his tongue, and how smoothly he could move on and dissipate what could have been a tricky situation.

  ‘I would love to see more of our country,’ said Mama wistfully.

  ‘Me too,’ I said. ‘In school we learnt about some of those places. The islands of the Rovinj archipelago sound particularly beautiful.’

  ‘They must be seen to be believed,’ said Ivan, smiling. I wondered whether one day he might take our family there. As a member of the Party this might be something he could arrange?

  ‘Keep working at Jadranka,’ said Tata, ‘and find yourself a good man. Nothing comes without hard work. Your generation will likely have far more opportunity to travel than we ever did.’

  He might as well have clamped a boulder to my foot. ‘You know I hate that factory!’ I clenched my fists. ‘I won’t be staying long enough to earn my fortune there.’

  ‘You’ll do as you’re told,’ said Tata, thumping the table and leaving me feeling like a small child.

  I hated him in that moment. He wants to make my life difficult.

  ‘And when the roads are complete there will be other opportunities for employment,’ said Ivan. I smiled at him, grateful, although still smarting. ‘Mare, you work at the factory too?’

  ‘Yes, although not for much longer as it happens.’ She nudged Josip and reached for his hand. ‘We’ve got some exciting news. Early days, but . . . we’ve got a baby on the way.’

  ‘Oh!’ Mama clapped her hands in delight. She leant across the table and patted Mare’s hand. ‘That’s wonderful news, Draga.’

  ‘This is cause for celebration,’ said Tata, scraping back his chair and slapping Josip’s back. ‘Wine for everyone!’ He made a show of topping my water glass and Mare and Mama’s with a dash of wine. He refilled the glasses of the men.

  Everyone scrambled to their feet and joined in his toast. ‘To new beginnings! Živjeli!’ Tata tipped back his glass then slammed it on the table.

  The room erupted with hugs and kisses and back-slaps. Mama and Tata embraced for the longest time and afterwards Mama kept hold of Tata’s hand. It was easy to get caught up in the excitement, to hope this might be a positive sign of change. Of course I was thrilled for Mare and Josip, but it was the last thing I wanted for myself. I dreamed of travelling and seeing more of the progress and change which Ivan talked about, change that I was sure was happening throughout our country under Tito’s leadership. I snuck another look at my uncle. Those new roads could be my pathway to escaping Vela Luka, perhaps even to Korčula’s old town at the other end of our island.

  MAY

  I hovered by our kitchen window, desperate to catch my first glimpse. I heard it first, a clattering noise combined with a steady thrum, perhaps as far away as the bottom of our hill. Mama joined me at the window and we both perched up on our toes, tilted forward, peering out. It might have been a swarm of bees trapped inside a tin can. Instead it was Ivan, his driving goggles wedged beneath his peaked Party hat, guiding the motorbike up towards our house. My heart just about missed a beat. Soon I’d be riding on that machine with its round front eye like a searchlight.

  I wondered how many of our neighbours had raced from their homes to see what the racket was. A motorbike wasn’t a common sight and they might be curious, even frightened. Probably the last time had been during the war when the Germans were in charge. Mama nudged me and I grinned, knowing she felt just as excited as me.

  ‘Lucky girl.’ She fussed at my scarf. ‘Make sure it’s nice and tight. You don’t want your hair blowing everywhere.’

  ‘These shoes look stupid.’ I scowled down at the heavy black work shoes Ivan had insisted I wear. They were far too hot for May, and besides, they looked out of place with my pretty skirt.

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Draga. It’s not a fashion parade.’ But Mama’s face shone with a warm smile. She rubbed my arm. ‘You look fine.’

  I hoped so. I had spent all morning deciding. Ivan swung the sleek black machine around, angling it outside our house. He cut the engine and rested his feet on the ground, steadying the bike. Fat tyres encircled an intricate pattern of wheel spokes, and its shiny chrome exhausts stood out against the dull black paintwork. I couldn’t drag my eyes away from the empty black seat perched over the rear wheel. I worried about how difficult it would be to balance, how easy it might be to topple off.

  Ivan’s head was still down, checking the dials perhaps. He was dressed in his Party uniform and his black shoes were polished to a shine. He looked so important, at odds with how I’d come to know him around the house — he no longer felt like a guest and we had even shared the odd joke. That Party hat with its distinctive pale-blue band and gold braiding transformed him back into someone official and much older, someone I had no right to be accompanying. I pulled back from the window. My first instinct had been to run outside; now I felt as though I should wait to be called.

  It had been the previous night, over dinner, when Ivan had asked whether I could join him. He said he wanted to show me the progress on the new road. I just about choked on my food while I waited for Tata’s refusal. Of course it came, a firm no — there was plenty I could be helping Mama with on my day off — but Mama, bless her, told Tata not to be ridiculous. That I should go and enjoy a day out. It’ll be good for her. I tried to act as though it was nothing out of the ordinary, but my head spun. I was already imagining myself zipping along, and ever since all I’d been able to think about was how exciting life had become since Ivan’s arrival.

  I snuck another peek out the window. A crowd of neighbours were gathered. Ivan pushed his goggles over the peak on his cap. He was talking and throwing his arms about, bending over the bike to rev the engine. It sounded like a lion and some of the neighbours stepped back, while others clapped or held their hands to their mouths. My buzz of excitement returned when Ivan leant on the horn and gestured to me.

  ‘Go on, then,’ said Mama. ‘Don’t keep him waiting.’

  Even so, I hesitated at the front door.

  Our neighbour, Mrs Nola, called out. ‘Fancy way to travel, Gabrijela.’

  I knew she was jealous, but all I was capable of was nodding. On the one hand, I felt proud and secretly thrilled there would be a crowd to see me off, but closer up, that bike looked huge and I worried about clambering on with my skirt and flashing my underwear. Mama seemed oblivious to my distress, standing behind me, pushing me forward. Ivan’s eyes were hidden again behind his goggles: he was transformed into an insect with bulging black eyes. I had to clamp my mouth shut to stop my giggles.

  He beckoned me over and patted the rear seat. ‘Put one foot here,’ he said, pointing to a footrest, ‘then swing your leg up and over. Don’t worry, I’ll hold her steady.’

 
His voice was so assured that it gave me a jolt of confidence. I hitched my skirt, holding it close to my thighs, then stepped up, swinging my leg out and over the back of the bike. I had no idea whether I flashed or not but once I was safely seated I consoled myself that modesty was a small price to pay. I settled my skirt around me and gave everyone a cheery wave.

  ‘Be careful,’ Mama called out.

  ‘You look like a queen,’ called Mrs Nola.

  Ivan checked back. ‘Hold on tight,’ he said.

  I rested my hands either side of his hips, but he drew them further forward so that I was hugging him tight around his middle. I was sitting so close to him now that my breasts brushed up against his back, and I could feel the warmth coming off him on my face. I inched back.

  ‘Just relax,’ said Ivan. ‘We don’t want to lose you.’

  My arms were like sticks and I wriggled them, trying to loosen up. The only time Branko and I got this close was when we danced or when we kissed, but that was only momentarily. I felt frustrated by my inexperience, but at the same time a tingle coursed through me. Most of all I was grateful for Ivan’s no-nonsense guidance. There was no time for thinking — Ivan revved the engine and I felt a surge of power under my seat. My breath caught in my chest as we zoomed off, the engine a loud clatter. It was exhilarating but I had to remind myself to look up. I had no sense of whether anyone waved; all I could think about was keeping my arms wrapped tight around Ivan.

  We roared off down the street towards the harbour, me shielding my face from the breeze whipping past us, my scarf flapping over my ears like a mini-motor. I was surprised at how quickly I grew accustomed to burrowing in behind Ivan’s back, relishing the thrill as we swung around the corners. When I dared peek over his shoulder a few strands of my hair whipped in tangles about my face to catch in my mouth. I tentatively lifted one hand to brush them aside and congratulated myself on being so brave.

  The road heading out was hard-packed dirt. When I plucked up the courage to glance behind, Vela Luka was shrouded in a cloud of dust. By now the engine sounded more like a gentle purr. I could taste the dirt at the back of my throat, but it wasn’t unpleasant, more a taste of freedom. The sea sparkled on our left, the bluest of blues and icy clear. A good day for fishing. Tata and Josip would likely see the fish running. It would be no consolation for Josip, though. He would be annoyed to be working while I was out on an adventure, and I felt privileged that it was me Ivan had chosen.